Recognizing…….

Summer is fading. I can smell, see,  and feel the autumn coming in and I love it! sumMEr was full for me but I would be remiss if I did not admit that somewhere along the way it fell just a bit short of my expectations. The guest bloggers were fabulous and more than I could have ever anticipated but I don’t feel like I upheld my end ~ to myself. Once again, I let the days pass by in a blur with sumMEr just on the tip of my tongue.

Then I remember to be gentle with myself.

Many people commented that sumMEr helped them, made them more aware and I recognize it did the same for me.

I now recognize more of what I do and don’t want in my life. I recognize I want more care-free-ness, more play. I recognize that I want more writing, more yoga and more books, less stress. I recognize that I want more singing and dancing. I recognize that I want to be more comfortable in my skin, the only skin I will ever have. I recognize I want relationships that are deeper and more meaningful. I recognize that I want a simpler life. I realize I want to live ~really LIVE~ my one precious life. I recognize that it is up to me, each and every day, to take steps (as small as they may be) toward my goals, to embrace what is while making what will be. I recognize I have to actively ALLOW and keep my eyes and heart gentle, be less judgmental while finding my true, authentic self.  I recognize that I create my own reality.

I recognize this is what life is – more about the recognizing, not so much the fading.

Truth…….

She’s not in a race to get “there.”  She desires to maximize “here.” ~Tonya Leigh

I am giving myself permission to step back from the aimless searching, overwhelm, all the self-imposed  comparisons and expectations, the lists that no longer calm, the wasting of my precious time with a busyness of nothing. I want to delve more into me and make friends with myself, fall in love with myself. I have always felt like an extrovert but secretly wonder  if that is my truth. I really don’t like labels, that is my truth. My truth is sitting quietly, thinking, reading, writing, being, hoping, loving. I feel that I have strayed from these truths. I also want to add to these truths and know I can not do that while on the current path that I travel.

This is me~letting all that go, shifting my thoughts and outlooks to finally find my truth.

Legacy……

I thought there would be more words to aptly portray this phenomenal woman/ spirit. But now, even after all this time, it is still too raw…..

We had a hard year, that 1998/99 ~we lost mawmaw, Andy’s mother and an adoption fell through. Our world turned upside down in a matter of months. We made it through but I can say, not without some heavy scars.

Today, she would have been 79 …..we lost her 14 years ago. Fourteen long, surreal years.
I have trouble with specific memories but I do remember that she made everyone feel loved and important. My grandmother was a soft place to land and a staunch supporter of all that is right and good. She felt mostly unloved for a majority of her life so she was  determined to make sure that everyone around her would only feel love and acceptance. There are no words to describe how special she always made each and every person feel. We have a running joke between the 3 grandkids. She would make sure that we all knew we were her favorite – she would tell us individually, in a conspiratorial way, but we all knew she told each of us the very same thing (though I KNOW I was her favorite~seriously!). Having had such a great force of good for most of my life, it goes without saying that my life has not been quiet right since loosing her.

She suffered many a heartache  and health issues but she did not let that stand in her way. She was deeply rooted in her faith and her family. She gave reely, out of love, truly expecting nothing in return.  She loved a good practical joke and found humor in the oddest of things.

We were always on adventures, even if it was just sorting her buttons, making a car from an old bowl lid (with green beans for the gas and tomatoes for the brake) or going 80 miles out of the way to save a penny on a canned good. If she ever encountered a snake she would not run but rather jump up and down in one spot. She scared a few away like that! She loved a yard sale and would make my mother pull into any home with clothes hanging out. Many times mama would fuss with her, sure the clothes were merely someone’s wash hanging in the summer breeze. She made every day magical. I am so thankful that I realized it then and while I am saddened that I no longer have her as a constant in my life, a day does not go by without me thinking of her and her loving support.  She left a smile and hope in my heart.

I now try to honor her with my everyday interactions – trying to leave the world in a better state than that which I found it and trying to let every single person know that they matter. I hope to honor her Legacy of Love~

You lived, you laughed, you loved.
You were strong but soft at the core.
You shared all that you had
and asked only that we try our best.
Our lives are forever changed because
you loved. you laughed. you lived.

 

Happy Birthday, my sweet MawMaw! xo

Today……

I have an outline of my focuses for this  sumMEr  with the main point of all this being:  How to change my relationship with me so that I will be better equipped to help others and connect with my soul’s work and the Goddess that I am? I know it all starts with me – no one else can do this work. We all have magic to share and we must take care of ourselves and believe in ourselves in order to be able to share that magic.

I am becoming more aware of how I speak to and about myself, aiming to be gentle. I am putting in place rituals that feel right for me and organizing so I have a calm reprieve to physically land when I let my mind get out of hand. I will make better food choices and start taking better care of myself. I will listen to what I need most and stand firm, not apologizing, remembering that when I say ‘yes’ to something that does not serve me, I am saying ‘no’ to something that might. I will not give into guilt. I will remember that ALLOW is my word of the year and I will make sure to have quiet time at least weekly, where I can reflect and offer gratitude. I aim to lighten up and not take everything so seriously, acknowledging that I only get this one life. I will enjoy the things and people that I love most. Everyday I will honor myself and in doing so, create a safe place for others.

There are many books and ecourses  and retreats that I want to delve into. I started this sumMEr off with an online class hosted by Liz Lamoreux and an art workshop at the studio of Jenni Horne. I am now joining Liz in her Inner Excavate-Along and Catherine Just in her Soul*Full Summit .  My lovely friend, Jenn Borek, has invited me to participate in her ecourse which involves one of my favorite things in the world: sticky notes! 😉 Rounding off my sumMEr will be the Artist’s Way Bookclub that the fabulous Jessica Brogan.

I invite you to poke around and see if any of these things call to you.  You might want to take this sumMEr to go inside yourself and reflect. There is no wrong way to do this – the ‘being aware’ is the most important part; it’s all in the becoming. Go at your own pace. Notice how you talk to yourself . Reflect on what you really want from your one precious life. Lean in. Live your Poem. xo

 

sumMEr

Hi!!

happy sumMEr !!! Today marks the first day of the sumMEr of ME – a calling forth of self care.  Almost 40 artists are joining me this sumMEr to talk about self care and self communication. I am over the moon and hope that you will connect to yourself through some of these wonderful artists. If you are tired of the hustle and bustle and feel called to something more…..if you want to change the world one smile at a time…..if you want to find your happy…..if you want to live your poem……. I invite you to join us this sumMEr. We are thrilled that you are here. You are Wise. You are Wonderful. You are Worth it.

and here it is: my maiden vlog – not letting anything stop me…..was actually going to re-record this today and realized it was the first day of sumMEr (not tomorrow, thank you, leap year!) 🙂 xoxo

Click here to view my maiden vlog! 😉

Art……

I am joining a few friends of mine in taking part in a blog hop entitled “Love of Art”.  I wasn’t sure what I would write as, even though I love words, they oft-times elude me. I tend to read blogs that sum up my emotions but as far as writing my own, I am sometimes stumped.

This is one reason art has found its way into my heart. In a few words and some paint, a bit of paper and a button, scrap of lace or stitch, I can convey what is in my soul. I find that as I sit with a brush and ALLOW myself to just start that I amaze myself with the end result. Sometimes it is rather simple but I would like to think that life is the same and if I follow my heart that it will lead me where I need to go.

Art can take all shapes and within us stir all ranges of emotions.

Art can bind and build communities.

Art can heal our hurts and open our hearts.

xoxo

join me and a few of my closest~ My Tribe ~ for their thoughts on   “Love of Art”

Dream…….

I am in the midst of dreaming – dreaming BIG. I am giddy and while my Type A tendencies want to come out and supervise, I am ignoring them and forging ahead into limitless hopes with supporting actions shortly to come.

Now that I have given myself permission to dream, no specifics necessary at this particular juncture, I can not seem to stop and I am loving it! There is so much goodness to be shared and I know wonderful things are about to happen.

I have dreams of  a loving, safe place where like-minded, supportive, creative people can gather and connect with each other and themselves  in order to be a force of good. I.can’t.wait – it is all just around the corner, my friends! Can’t you just feel it? The love…… xoxo

Sissy…….

I am so excited! I am taking the newest e-course by Kelly Rae Roberts and Beth Nicholls :  Hello Soul. Hello Business – big Puffy Heart!

Our first lesson was packed full of helpful hints and journal prompts to get us thinking about our true purpose and how we want to use our business as a vehicle for that purpose. One helpful exercise, based on nurturing and thinking of your business as a friend, inspired the little doodle above and I will now be lovingly referring to my business as “Sissy”. My grandmother called me Sissy and always nurtured my creativity. She was one of the best people you would ever hope to meet; you always felt sheltered and loved and valued when she was near. She was my heart. Everyone should be so blessed to have such a wonderful person in their lives and I carry this with me, hoping to warm everyone in my life with that same sweet spirit.

This also led me to think that we are all just family and want to be valued and loved. I hope to add that to the world in all that I do. My goal is to add a little Happily to your Ever After and honor, empower, motivate and inspire others as I embark on the journey to find my soul. xo