Summer is fading. I can smell, see, and feel the autumn coming in and I love it! sumMEr was full for me but I would be remiss if I did not admit that somewhere along the way it fell just a bit short of my expectations. The guest bloggers were fabulous and more than I could have ever anticipated but I don’t feel like I upheld my end ~ to myself. Once again, I let the days pass by in a blur with sumMEr just on the tip of my tongue.
Then I remember to be gentle with myself.
Many people commented that sumMEr helped them, made them more aware and I recognize it did the same for me.
I now recognize more of what I do and don’t want in my life. I recognize I want more care-free-ness, more play. I recognize that I want more writing, more yoga and more books, less stress. I recognize that I want more singing and dancing. I recognize that I want to be more comfortable in my skin, the only skin I will ever have. I recognize I want relationships that are deeper and more meaningful. I recognize that I want a simpler life. I realize I want to live ~really LIVE~ my one precious life. I recognize that it is up to me, each and every day, to take steps (as small as they may be) toward my goals, to embrace what is while making what will be. I recognize I have to actively ALLOW and keep my eyes and heart gentle, be less judgmental while finding my true, authentic self. I recognize that I create my own reality.
I recognize this is what life is – more about the recognizing, not so much the fading.
She’s not in a race to get “there.” She desires to maximize “here.” ~Tonya Leigh
I am giving myself permission to step back from the aimless searching, overwhelm, all the self-imposed comparisons and expectations, the lists that no longer calm, the wasting of my precious time with a busyness of nothing. I want to delve more into me and make friends with myself, fall in love with myself. I have always felt like an extrovert but secretly wonder if that is my truth. I really don’t like labels, that is my truth. My truth is sitting quietly, thinking, reading, writing, being, hoping, loving. I feel that I have strayed from these truths. I also want to add to these truths and know I can not do that while on the current path that I travel.
This is me~letting all that go, shifting my thoughts and outlooks to finally find my truth.
I am sure I am like everyone else and am just trying to find my way in this craziness we call life. As I make my way, I am opening myself to my creative process and all that entails. I hope to honor, empower, motivate and inspire along my way: honor my path and the paths of those that I have the pleasure of experiencing while on my journey~ empower others and help them to feel uplifted~ motivate everyone to realize their potential and the fact that we can change the world, one heart at a time ~ inspire others to live their best, most honest life.
There are no instructions and oft times I fail miserably but I continue and I think that is enough sometimes!
Erica Herbert http://www.becomingfrida.blogspot.com/ has compiled pictures into a video that spoke to my soul. I have to let it go and open myself to all that can be. She has another project in the works all about love and what is in our hearts and I was inspired to create a bit. I love when that happens – inspiration when I least expect it……but that is what life is about, right? Living in the moment and creating your reality. xoxo
Self care~ honoring ourselves, our journeys~sounds so basic and possible. Then we wake up days, weeks, months even years later and realize we never began. I am hoping to break that cycle. Self care is always on my list *Hi, my name is Renee and I am a list maker* and it always seems to find a home on the newest list, is always in my mind and never comes to fruition. I find no time for the long soak in the tub (maybe that will change once the claw foot is installed -who can say ‘no’ to a claw foot, right?), nor do I frequent salons for hair care or a mani/pedi. Every moment that I am awake is used for the 8:30-5:00, creative research, a project here and there along with a dishwasher empty/load, reading a few random pages of the 6 books I am sure to have around the house in varying stages of completion with a cursory glance to make sure we have socks for the next day arriving at the time of the evening where there can be no more; the end of the day.
I think I will start with slowing down, not just in action but in thought. *Hi, my name is Renee and I am an over-thinker*. I constantly feel like I don’t manage my time well and while in contemplation of this, I discover I am about 5 hours in and my evening is behind me. More often than not, I am irritated by this waste of time and lack of production and that the list just seems to multiply. Maybe the key is to schedule in time to think , then make sure to move on, believing it will all get handled and finding a place in the middle of this to breathe. I can’t let the chaos I see in my studio take control and detour me from my creative endeavors. I need to perceive my reality in a manner that will be conducive to this calmness I so desperately desire.
So, in the spirit of trying to honor, I am going to allow myself to Just Be. xo