Truth…….

She’s not in a race to get “there.”  She desires to maximize “here.” ~Tonya Leigh

I am giving myself permission to step back from the aimless searching, overwhelm, all the self-imposed  comparisons and expectations, the lists that no longer calm, the wasting of my precious time with a busyness of nothing. I want to delve more into me and make friends with myself, fall in love with myself. I have always felt like an extrovert but secretly wonder  if that is my truth. I really don’t like labels, that is my truth. My truth is sitting quietly, thinking, reading, writing, being, hoping, loving. I feel that I have strayed from these truths. I also want to add to these truths and know I can not do that while on the current path that I travel.

This is me~letting all that go, shifting my thoughts and outlooks to finally find my truth.

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sumMEr

Hi!!

happy sumMEr !!! Today marks the first day of the sumMEr of ME – a calling forth of self care.  Almost 40 artists are joining me this sumMEr to talk about self care and self communication. I am over the moon and hope that you will connect to yourself through some of these wonderful artists. If you are tired of the hustle and bustle and feel called to something more…..if you want to change the world one smile at a time…..if you want to find your happy…..if you want to live your poem……. I invite you to join us this sumMEr. We are thrilled that you are here. You are Wise. You are Wonderful. You are Worth it.

and here it is: my maiden vlog – not letting anything stop me…..was actually going to re-record this today and realized it was the first day of sumMEr (not tomorrow, thank you, leap year!) 🙂 xoxo

Click here to view my maiden vlog! 😉

Here……

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

I have been thinking a lot…..if you know me you will not doubt this. Oft times I get overwhelmed and anxious even without knowing specifically why; the words, they do not come and I feel inarticulate and silly and vulnerable. The smallest of things can send me into a panic. I do not like feeling this way, Sam I am, I do not like it one bit. I am trying to calm my mind so I can make room for the real, the here, so it does not pass me by in a frenzied mess. One way I am doing this is through a fabulous online class hosted by Liz Lamoreux  called Create Space. I already feel calmer and more at peace than when I first started the class.

I am trying to embrace my story, lean in, live my poem and remember that I must honor where I am on my journey, let it empower me and motivate positive change that will inspire the creativity and soul-fullness that I want to carry within and share with others.

Another artist I am fortunate enough to be taking a class from in the upcoming months,  Jenni Horne, penned a lovely, heartfelt blog post and urged her readers to share more of their truth. I get so caught up in details and life and worries and shoulds and maybes but I know my truth is here. It is in the becoming. xo

This Moment…..

I thought about running through the highlights of 2011 or my hopes for 2012 but wanted to remember our New Year’s Eve celebration. My memory, at best, is normally impaired and I want to remember this moment.

Andy had played with Lights Out, normally an acoustic band, and his own band, Dead River but during a break, we sang karaoke. While the name of the song escapes me, I want to always remember the sheer joy I felt in this moment. All was right in my world. My wonderful husband by my side and our home spilling over with friends and family preparing to usher in 2012 with us. I want to remember that I was on the verge of  laughter at the ridiculous-ness of this moment and how Andy was so off-key but did not let that stop him from singing his heart out. I want to remember that he could not wear his wedding ring because his hand was still healing from the Tunes for Tots show that he orchestrated and literally played so hard, he bled.

I want to keep all this close to my heart and I am sure that if I do, all the days of 2012 will be that much better. xo

Sadness…….

In all the hustle and bustle of the Season I have moments. These moments range in emotion from excited, happy, calm, frenzied, frantic nostalgic and sad. As positive as I try to be, the sadness always finds a way in.

My life is not perfect but it is mine and I am here, living it and being present. I have wonderful, supportive friends and family and I am proud to be on this journey with the most wonderful husband a girl could have. We weather our storms and always come through with a better understanding of ‘us’. I am strengthened and comforted by this; and yet the sadness always find a way in.

I try to reason with myself and talk myself away from it but, in staying true to my path, I have decided to sit with it a while and let it be because I know while the sadness always finds a way in, it won’t win. xo

LOVE……

I am sure I am like everyone else and am just trying to find my way in this craziness we call life.  As I make my way, I am opening myself  to my creative process and all that entails.  I hope to honor, empower, motivate and inspire along my way: honor my path and the paths of those that I have the pleasure of experiencing while on my journey~ empower others and help them to feel uplifted~ motivate everyone to realize their potential and the fact that we can change the world, one heart at a time ~ inspire others to live their best, most honest life.

There are no instructions and oft times I fail miserably but I continue and I think that is enough sometimes!

Erica Herbert http://www.becomingfrida.blogspot.com/ has compiled pictures into a video that spoke to my soul. I have to let it go and open myself to all that can be. She has another project in the works all about love and what is in our hearts and I was inspired to create a bit. I love when that happens  – inspiration when I least expect it……but that is what life is about, right? Living in the moment and creating your reality. xoxo

*my fabulous earrings are from Violet of Kelly Mae Kreations http://kellymaekreations.blogspot.com/

Just Be…….

Self care~ honoring ourselves, our journeys~sounds so basic and possible. Then we wake up days, weeks, months even years later and realize we never began. I am hoping to break that cycle. Self care is always on my list *Hi, my name is Renee and I am a list maker* and it always seems to find a home on the newest list, is always in my mind and never comes to fruition. I find no time for the long soak in the tub (maybe that will change once the claw foot is installed -who can say ‘no’ to a claw foot, right?), nor do I frequent salons for hair care or a mani/pedi. Every moment that I am awake is used for the 8:30-5:00, creative research, a project here and there along with a dishwasher empty/load, reading a few random pages of the 6 books I am sure to have around the house in varying stages of completion with a cursory glance to make sure we have socks for the next day arriving at the time of the evening where there can be no more; the end of the day.

I think I will start with slowing down,  not just in action but in thought. *Hi, my name is Renee and I am an over-thinker*. I constantly feel like I don’t manage my time well and while in contemplation of this, I discover I am about 5 hours in and my evening is behind me. More often than not, I am irritated by this waste of time and lack of production and that the list just seems to multiply. Maybe the key is to schedule in time to think , then make sure to move on, believing it will all get handled and finding a place in the middle of this to breathe. I can’t let the chaos I see in my studio take control and detour me from my creative endeavors.  I need to perceive my reality in a manner that will be conducive to this calmness I so desperately desire.

So, in the spirit of trying to honor, I am going to allow myself to Just Be.  xo