I recently became familiar with Noelle Rollins. Her spirit, artwork and honesty just pull you in and will amaze you. She has graciously agreed to share in our sumMEr celebrations.
Noell Rollins is an artist, momma and writer. Her mission is to encourage authentic, soulful living through art, story and community.
A few weeks ago I had a life changing experience. I was going through a process called re-birthing. I will attempt to briefly explain it: my coach Shannon sat with me for an hour and we talked about life, issues I was dealing with and then some guided activities. It was coming up that I have made great improvement in setting healthy boundaries with people but I still had a ways to go. After a few years of giving everything I had to help everyone around me I had to make some serious changes when my little guy came into the picture a couple years ago. No longer could I just give my time away endlessly. It forced me to re-analyze my artwork pricing. Surely I can’t be the only one who used to judge my success on how busy I was instead of realizing that when I raised my prices I at first felt a bit panicky because I wasn’t running in circles as fast I had been before but my moves now were more calculated and profitable. I was also noticing myself setting better boundaries with some people in my life; instead of being the person who just smiles and pretends everything is fine. I decided that I don’t need to invest my time, emotions or energy into a few of these fringe people that have added so much stress into my life recently.
One of the things Shannon had me answer was, “How do I define my value in life”.
I realized how much of my own view of my value was wrapped up in my service to others. Service to others is a wonderful thing but there has to be a balance in it and I HAVE TO know that I am good enough even without their approval. Huge.
During this re-birthing the second half is spent doing deep breathing, during this time things will come up that need closure. What came up for me were a couple of tough events that happened in the 5th grade. One was an event where an older boy publicly humiliated me in front of everyone. This was also the time my body started changing and I became insecure with it for the first time. Through talking with Shannon about this I realized that it’s no coincidence that my daughter was in 5th grade and it was bringing up all of these underlying emotions that I didn’t have the skills to deal with when I was her age. …but… I do now. It made so much sense, what I couldn’t do then I now knew that I HAD to do. Speak my mind more, be loving but firm with my time, not give time anymore to those that wouldn’t give it back. It’s been life changing. HUGE breakthrough for me.
One of the other nuggets of wisdom that Shannon shared with me was that I will know that I’m getting stronger in this area when I am able to say no to things that I will later be resentful about or that don’t align with my beliefs. I may replay this in my mind and even feel guilty about it for a bit. This is okay. As I continue to grow this muscle I will eventually not need to replay it in my mind or feel guilty. Eventually it will just be like, “that doesn’t work for me” and I won’t think twice about it.
Lastly I will just add that I am all for volunteering, helping people out and a spirit of community. So all of this I’m saying is in the spirit of love and since I can’t even count 5 people I know that have the problem where they can’t say yes to others or that they feel they don’t take on enough I will assume you fall into the other category like I do. You can read more of my observations on this topic here: http://noellerollinsart.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/i-give-you-permission-to-say-no/
You can follow Noelle on her journey to creating an inspired life here: www.Facebook.com/NoelleRollinsArt or on her blog here: http://noellerollinsart.wordpress.com